A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
How to drive a guy crazy; send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
My grandmother is over 80 and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.