Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Dummies Guide to Yiddish Expressions

Vay iz meer;
An expression which closely resembles "Woe is Me", and is cried out by Jewish mothers every 15 minutes.
An anthem of true suffering.

People who are Gentile. A polite term for anyone who doesn't love a good bargain or has extra skin on his schmeckel.

An endearing term of love which means "little man".
An emasculating term for women to call men, if you think about it. But who has time to think.

Gefilte Fish

A tasty mix of congealed fish parts and transparent slime jelly.
The only food it is permissable for Jewish children to refuse.
In some families, they may even be allowed to gag, but politely.

A derogatory term which best refers to a female
business associate or a mother-in-law. The closest English equivalent is "bitch".


A call-girl, or prostitute. A reference to the Russian
Czar's wife at the turn of the 20th Century, and to that flashy shiksa your nephew married.
Also known as Nafkeh.

A yummy blend of overcooked noodles raisins, and
curds of ripe cheese. Not fun to look at. When lathered with sour cream makes an excellent artery hardener.

A purple soup made from beets and ammonia. Often eaten
by elderly Ashkenazic Jews who slurp noisily and have protruding nose hair. Which is helpful, because it stinks to high heaven.

Also referred to as matzoh balls. Made with styrofoam and sponges.
There isn't a laxative in the worl d strong enough to counteract them.

A man who messes things up, always loses and feels miserable.
Closely related to Schlemazel and Schlemiell. Every Jewish family
has at least one, often named Irving .

A jerk who can't do anything right. In simple terms, someone who's always spilling his soup.

The poor dumb putz - a Schlemiell is always spilling soup on

A word referring to all problems, trouble, grief,
aggravation and heartache. Examples: daughter pregnant
with child of an unemployed Catholic bartender, adult son loses job and moves back home.

Major Tsuris : Daughter and baby "Bridget" move back
home too.

Potato pancakes

fried in castor oil and lightly seasoned with balsa wood.? Smells like old boxer shorts.

Ken in- a- hura
A gleeful rejoice used when Jewish parents find out
their daughter is going to marry the Jewish surgeon.

No comments: