Mickey Katz lyrics

"Where is my Pants?" (sung to the tune of "Where is my
Heart?":

Wherever I look,
I'm worried and verblungered;
My bathrobe is here,
But where is my pants?

De closet is full
Mit ties and pajamas;
My cufflinks are there,
But Where is my pants?

It's so hard to realize,
Dat you dun't put t'ings on a place;
I could wear a fancy coit:
But without pants iss bin ein disgrace!

I gedenk I remember,
It happened last September;
So Honey, don't be braigas;
I lost my pants in Las Vegas!

And from "Cheder Days" (sung to the tune of "School Days"):

Cheder days, cheder days,
Dear old alef-beys days;
Reading and writing and oy, hab glick;
De raps on the k'nuckles from teacher's stick...

(Lapse into monologue:)

Ah, yes, I remember cheder;
not the beautiful, wonderful cheders
that you boys and girls go to today;
my cheder was wedged in between
a mikvah and a sausage factory...